A Perfectionistic Perspective

by Denise Legg, M.A., LIMHP

If you have ever experienced that moment of utter disappointment in yourself, realizing that you have once again fallen short of what was formerly a dream of accomplishing perfection, you are not alone. In society today, many people live with a perfectionistic perspective that affects several areas of their lives. According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, perfectionism can be defined as, “a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.” Perfectionism tends to cause anxiety, frustration, and lack of timely productivity, which usually leaves the painful mark of consistent stress upon a person.

Many perfectionists see countless flaws in themselves and the work they do, which quite often creates low self-esteem and insecurity in several areas of life such as weight, finances, career success, athletic competition, and popularity. With the many areas of life piling up on top of one another, people who suffer from perfectionism may live with a nagging sense of stress constantly at the forefront of their mind. Thoughts like, “I am such a failure,” “Why can’t I do anything right?” and “I’ll never reach my goals” pervade the perspectives of the perfectionist daily.

So now that we know who we are, what can we do about our perfectionistic tendencies? Should we repress, deny, and ignore these thoughts of inadequacy? Or should we read the latest self-help book with the hopes of one day becoming purely perfect in all areas of our lives? Neither. Instead, we should learn to combat the self-diminishing thoughts, intense anxiety, and unrealistic expectations for ourselves. We must learn to fight the perfectionistic perspective, not ignore it.

In order to fight the thoughts that live inside a perfectionist’s mind, we must be committed to thinking positively. In order to promote positive thinking, we must first recognize the negative thoughts harboring in our minds and speak the truth over this negativity. “I am not a failure.” “I am a hard worker who always gets the job done.” “I am successful as a friend, sister, and coworker.” “I make a difference in the lives of those who know me.” “Others don’t see me as a failure.”  Positive self-talk fights the negativity that commonly follows perfectionistic thinking.

Other methods of defeating the trap of a perfectionistic perspective include focusing on others more than ourselves, recognizing our successes more often than our failures, and finding supportive friends and family that we can trust to encourage us throughout the process of fighting negative thinking.

For more ideas on how to protect yourself from the destructive force of the perfectionist perspective, contact Denise Legg for an appointment this month!